i can't believe i had my finger in that
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Bring me that man meat
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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