but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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