Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
