drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize