Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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