Christians are straight up FREAKS
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You may now shotgun with the bride
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
