google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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