I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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