We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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