i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Randomize
