I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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