I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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