Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
