For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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