that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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