I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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