it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize