Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
