Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
