We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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