im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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