i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
