are you still at the devil's house?
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
