Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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