Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize
