I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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