What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
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I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
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some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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