If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
