is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
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She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
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Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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