Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
