Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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