I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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