i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
