you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize