Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
