i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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