just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
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