Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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