I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
