The beer is more important than you right now.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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