Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Small penises have feelings too.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize