Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Found the puke drawer
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
