Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
