My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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