No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
there was a trapeze. enough said
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
