I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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