oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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