So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize