My room smells like vodka and shame
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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