I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
