Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
please come you make the beer taste better
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
