whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize