I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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